The other F word

Face book! OK, don't get me wrong.  I don't hate it.  I just don't understand it and it often leaves me just frightened and confused.  I have sort of been involved for about a year so I have given much more time than I give other things before I pass judgement and make fun of them.  So, the thing is...3 of my face book friends are actually the smartest people I know, I mean like way smart.  Because of this, in the back of my mind I know there is something awesome about face book and I obviously don't get it yet. Mom used to say "make believe until you come to believe" So I will  play along a little longer. 
I was reading some comments today and found out that Jill likes Daph's picture.  Well, ya...what is she gonna say?  I have some ideas for comments that might help me relate to face book better. 
"Jennifer does not like Kelcie's picture and thinks her kid looks like a monkey"
"Diane IS NOT friends with Lisa who is the same freak she was in high school, She just friended her to check out to see if she ended up looking like Ernest Borgnine. "
And, do I really need an e-mail to alert me that Dave likes a picture of the co-worker of my second cousin twice removed on his recent trip to Lego Land.  I don't think so...
And, I am not so socially messed up that I can't find my own friends.  I have been doing it for years with amazing success.  I actually got an e-mail urging me to help Mary Alice find friends.  Really?  That is my daughter you are talking about, Bozo!  She has plenty of friends.
OH! OH! and just for the record, I got up at 5:30 every morning and milked a cow and/or changed sprinklers and chased pigs until well after I was married.  I don't even know what this bizarre farm thing is, but I will have no part of it!!!
One more thing...poke???
"Laura thinks Liz is bitter."
For as long as I remember there have been three separate parts of my life, my work, my family and my friends and I have been very content venting about these groups to the other groups.  Well, now thanks to some "no talent a$$ clown", they are all in one place.  What next?  A service that puts a camera in your laptop and lets you talk to people face to face?  For the love of all things human!  Make it stop! Trust me, I do not need another electronic invention to distract me...oh look a kitty...what was I saying? 
So why do I do it? Why do I sign in every day?  Because it fascinates me.  Because all the smart and pretty people are doing it.   I have been out of the loop for fifteen years and in 1 month I have caught up with friends and family I haven't seen in ages.  Do I love it? Yes.  Will I continue to mock it?  Absolutely!  And if the face book god's smile upon me, one day I will become a believer.