I would like to preface this post by stating that I love my sweet husband more than anything else in the world. He is the kindest man I have ever met and he would do anything for his family as long as it doesnt' inconvenience him in any way or make him work past 3 pm.
That having been said, recently since we moved into the "big house", I don't feel quite the financial freedom I had in previous years. Our financial plan has always been the same. Jared snatches the checks, pays all the bills and then we land on the bank like piranhas snatching the last little bit of money to spend on our own selfish needs. Jared has made an huge effort to keep us financially fit and to provide for our future, however, somewhere in his plan he forgot that his family has to eat and occasionally buy clothes. Thus begins the battle.
In the past when the gatekeeper has told me I couldn't spend any money I would do one of two things. I would pick up overtime hours or pick up another job. Well, after my most recent 10 hour overtime stint as I sat huddled in the bathtub with scalding water pouring on my body to make the pain stop, I had what some call an epiphany. Why do I have to work more? I got out of the tub, took some pain pills and sat down with my husband.
Jared has worked from 7 to 3 since the day I met him. There was a brief time in the nineties when he worked retail, but quickly when back to what he knows and loves. He is always off by 3. I wonder why he can't pick up a few hours?
"Hey, do you think you could pick up a few hours?"
"No. I have too much to do on Mondays."
"Like what?"
"Laundry, dishes. stuff like that."
"Well, really that's something I can do with the kids. We could really use the money if you would pick up some more hours."
"What we really need is to cut our spending more."
"Well, I have cut a lot of spending, we just could use a little more money and if you can do that, it would really help our family.
"I'll see, I need to talk to my boss."
In Jared speak, that means no. I was mad. Mad and still in pain. I have just rearranged my schedule so I am home with the kids when they get home from school. I can't work more.
I went along with my life all pissed off until Sunday night. I played piano for the Priesthood preview. I sat playing looking at the people as they wandered in, and then I saw him. The man who was going to solve all my problems. The bishop. He is a smartly dressed man. He has a beautifully dressed wife who is happy all the time. They definitely understand the need for disposable income. He would certainly empathise with my special needs and best of all, he would make Jared work more hours while praising me for my unwavering commitment to spending more time with our children. Win win.
I promptly made an appointment with the bishop. I was so excited. Jared reminded me that I had an appointment at 3 and that he would be glad to drive me there. Somewhere deep inside, i know he had a feeling I was going to throw him under the bus so he figured he should be in there to minimize the damage. I was given an incorrect time so I was a half hour early. It was OK. I found an Ensign to read but as I began to read, there seemed to be a disturbing trend. All the articles were on provident living, budgets, living within your means. I was amazed and touched by the stories I was reading about people going through the same things I was. I know that Jared was reading some of the same things. It was a very reverent enjoyable time. What beautiful and timely message. I still planned to throw him under the bus, but I had pure intentions.
I went into the bishop and layed it all out on the table about how hard I was working and that I never get any money and that Jared could work more but he wouldn't because he is bad, and can he fix it.
"I would love to help." he said. "let 's bring Jared in and talk about your concerns."
Yippee!!! I was so excited. Someone who Jared truly respected and slightly feared was going to command him to work longer. I was free.
Jared came in and sat down looking frightened.
The bishop started out with pleasantries and shared how many couples find themselves in the same spot. Then he uttered one of the worst sentences I had ever heard.
"Well I happen to be an accountant by trade." My blood ran cold. I knew at that very moment there would be no tire tracks on my husband that night.
How could I have missed that! An accountant?! Somehow I knew that my future would involve the 2 things I despise the most. A ledger and discipline. Foul word.
I tried to backtrack and remove all the buzz words that tend to lead accountants to do the evil things they do, but it was too late. With a gleam in his eyes he presented us with a work sheet.
"Have you ever done a budget?"
He then uttered what I believe was the second worst sentence I had ever heard.
"When I do my annual budget..." Yikes. I'm in trouble.There was a moment when I thought I still might have a shot at getting Jared to pick up some extra work when the bishop said:
"And Jared, you may want to explore some options where you may get the chance to increase revenue"
Well, sadly Jared is not a wordsmith. I saw him perk up and say "Sure, I can do that, I just can't work any more hours than I do now."
Our poor bishop look so confused, but I assured him we would talk about it.
So here I sit nursing a gigantic Carma bite out of my backside. I should have known better to use a church leader to manipulate my husband. We live and learn.
I have to go now to gather all the receipts from the car and my purse. Wish me luck, and please send coke money!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you all. You are loved.
Liz
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