AAAAAARGH!!!!!

Ok, so we all knew this day was coming. 

A little while back Emily got glasses.  For a few months things went really well and the glasses made it to school in one piece.  Sure, I got the occasional call from school that she had forgotten her glasses, but for the most part she was responsible.  Well, a few days ago I came home from work...oh ya, I went back to work, and I found her glasses on the table broken in two.  Everyone was asleep so I couldn't get the total BS story til in the morning.  The story is that Mary was tormenting Emily to the point that she had an incredible hulk moment and while going "grrrrrr" the glasses broke in two. 

I remained calm, after all, I am the new and improved mom that knows just how to deal with these situations.  I explained to Emily that glasses cost money.  I told her how much money I made an hour and how many hours I had to stay away from my kids to pay for a new pair of glasses.  I also threw in the obligatory, "this makes Heavenly Father sad" part just to cover all the bases.  I told her that her dad and I had decided that she needed to pay for the new glasses by pulling all the weeds in the back yard and by helping Grandma with a project. I rocked!  I proudly told everyone how well I had handled this and what a great lesson it was for Emily.   Every day I have been reminding her that she had to earn the money by Friday so we could get her new glasses.  I had it all figured out...or so I thought.

I came home today and Emily and her bike were gone.  I asked the girls where she was and they said she was at Sister Hansen's house.
"Why?"
"She's pulling weeds."
"Why???"
"To pay for the glasses.  She has been going to the neighbors asking if she can work to earn money to buy glasses because her mom will have to work extra if she doesn't."
"WHY!!!!!!"

I ran through the house shouting all manner of foul words then I sent the Rollerblade patrol to do damage control.  It has taken a month to rehab our image since the St. Patricks day party.  Why can't we just be the normal family for once.  I'm keeping the lights off and the blinds pulled so the relief society doesn't show up with shoes and apples for the "poor family."

Well, I have to go so I can make a giant banner that reads "It was an object lesson!  I'm not a mean mom!!"
Just shoot me.